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Ode to Madonna and Guy Ritchie…..8 reasons for divorce after 8 years of marriage…

Posted on October 15, 2008 by admin

Poor Madonna.  After almost 8 years of marriage, she has called it quits with Guy Ritchie.  Here are 8 simple reasons why this marriage was bound for failure from day 1.

#1 - Madonna is a Catholic.  Guy Ritchie is a Protestant.  - Catholics and Protestants have played each other up as “Devil” for centuries.  Which one is the devil in this relationship?

# 2 - Madonna is 52.  Guy Ritchie is 42.  - 10 years is a substantial hurdle to overcome.  Oh wait, how old is Alex Rodriguez?

# 3 - Madonna loves Kabbalah.  Guy Ritchie is Dyslexic.  He spells Kabbalah like this: “Sean Penn.”

# 4 - Madonna loves soccer.  She cheers for  The Arsenal - “Gunners”.  Guy Ritchie also loves soccer.  He, however, cheers for Chelsea - “The Blues”.  Hmmmmm…… Arsenal vs. the Blues.  Can you say it like Homer Simpson - “DOH!”

# 5 - Madonna starred in the film, “Swept Away”.  Guy Ritchie directed the film, “Swept Away.” Have you ever seen the movie, “Swept Away?” - Exactly.  Neither has anybody else.  That film was a dismal failure.

# 6 - Madonna hates George Bush.  Guy Ritchie loves Dick Cheney. In Madonna’s Confessions Tour performance, she sang “I Love New York” and replaced the original lyrics of “just go to Texas, isn’t that where they golf” with “just go to Texas and suck George Bush’s dick!” Guy Ritchie took that lyric as a huge compliment.

Try the Madonna’s favorite coffee: Choose Gevalia Kaffe – Taste the difference.

# 7 -Madonna has dated Tony Ward, Vanilla Ice and Dennis Rodman.  Guy Ritchie has ties to Tania Strecker and at age 15 got kicked out of school for “cutting lessons and entertaining a girl in his room.”  Fidelity and monogamy are not words Madonna sings about.

# 8 - Madonna loves Pepsi.  Guy Ritchie loves Coke.  Alex Rodriguez loves Pepsi.  Guy Ritchie loves Coke.  Coke or Pepsi Madonna?

Here are some more sporadic tidbits about Madonna:

The “Queen of Pop - Madonna” has done it again.  She is getting a divorce.

Nonnie, Maddy, Mo, Boy Toy, Mads, Madge, Material Girl, Veronica Electronica, Varla, Dita, creamy-smooth-pop-icon-goddess, Queen Of Pop, Esther.

Madonna’s first marriage was to actor Sean Penn. They wed on her 27th birthday, August 16, 1985. Their marriage ended on January 10, 1989 when Madonna (for the second time) filed for divorce (on Jan. 5th) on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.

Madonna WAS married to British film director Guy Ritchie. They wed on Friday, December 22, 2000, at Skibo Castle in Dornoch, Scotland. Guy is the father of their son Rocco.

Wedding Date:

Guy and Madonna were married Skibo Castle in Scotland on December 22, 2000. The century old, 7,000 acre estate was built on the former site of a Viking settlement.

Children:

• Rocco John Ritchie: Born in 2000. His father is Guy Ritchie. Rocco was born 3 weeks prematurely.
• Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon: Born in 1996. Her father is Carlos Leon II, a fitness instructor. Madonna dedicated her song “Little star” to her daughter Lourdes.
• David Banda: Adopted son, born in 2005 in Malawi. His natural father is Yohane Banda. David’s mother died a week after his birth.

Madonna about divorce rumors: “My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study.”
Source: K.C. Baker, “Madonna: ‘Not Planning on Getting a Divorce’”, People.com, 7/06/08.

Madonna about Guy: “I had to marry a challenge because otherwise I would just get bored. Whatever else Guy is, he’s never boring … We’re both there to help each other and challenge each other.”
Source: David Sims, “Madonna Reveals ‘Sex with Guy Is Incredible’”, People.com, 4/02/2008.

Madonna, about marriage expectations and soul mates: “I got married for all the wrong reasons…My husband did not turn out to be everything I had imagined him to be. I just wanted to end everything…there’s no such thing as the perfect soulmate…Your soul-mate is the person that pushes all your buttons-p****s you off on a regular basis….It’s not easy having a good marriage but I don’t want easy. I thank God every day that I married a man who made me think. That’s my definition of true love.”
Source: Sify.com

Madonna about marriage: “I have a successful marriage. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my ups and downs, but I have an open and honest relationship, and we work things out. Guy and I understand that we’ve embarked on a journey together. There’s no way our relationship would work if we didn’t both think the same way.”
Source: People Weekly, April 12, 2004 p82

Madonna about her marriage to Guy Ritchie: “I have two beautiful children and a brilliant, gorgeous husband. I have my work and my faith…If that’s boring to some people, I can’t tell you how much I don’t care.”
Source: Imdb.com

This is the headline of a BBC Report on October 15, 2008:

Pop star Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie are to divorce after nearly eight years of marriage, their PR representatives have confirmed.

The pair had not agreed to a settlement and asked the media to respect their privacy, the announcement added.

It followed several months of speculation that the couple’s relationship was in trouble.

In July, Madonna’s publicist denied the pair were planning to divorce, saying their marriage did not “need saving”.

The pair appeared together at last month’s premiere of Ritchie’s RocknRolla in London, walking arm-in-arm and posing for photographs in London’s Leicester Square.

Ritchie, 40, had rebutted suggestions his marriage was over with a public show of support at Madonna’s 50th birthday party in August and also told a US magazine in July the marriage was “fine”.

Boston gig

The statement issued on Wednesday read: “Madonna and Guy Ritchie have agreed to divorce after seven and a half years of marriage, their representatives confirmed today.

“They have both requested that the media maintain respect for their family at this difficult time.”

Madonna is due to play a concert in Boston later as part of her Sticky and Sweet tour.

She and Ritchie married in December 2000 at Skibo Castle in the Scottish Highlands and have two sons together - seven-year-old Rocco and David Banda, whose adoption from Malawi was approved in May.

The singer also has an 11-year-old daughter, Lourdes, from an earlier relationship.

The Material Girl - poor thing!

Here are some of Madonna’s greatest albums:

Madonna (aka The First Album) (1983)
Like A Virgin (1984)
Vision Quest (Soundtrack-contributed 2 songs) (1985)
True Blue (1986)
You Can Dance (compilation + 1 new track) (1987)
Who’s That Girl (Soundtrack-contributed 4 Songs) (1987)
A Very Special Christmas (contributed 1 track) (1988)
Like A Prayer (1989)
I’m Breathless (1990)
Immaculate Collection (compilation + 2 new tracks) (1990)
Red, Hot, and Dance (contributed 1 track) (1992)
Barcelona Gold (contributed 1 track) (1992)
Erotica (1992)
Just Say Roe (contributed 1 track) (1993)
With Honors (Soundtrack-contributed 1 track) (1994)
Bedtime Stories (1994)
Inner City Blues: The Music of Marvin Gaye (contributed 1 track) (1995)
Something to Remember (compilation + 3 new tracks) (1995)
Evita-Complete Motion Picture Soundtrack (1996 US; 1997 abroad)
Carnival! (contributed 1 track) (1997)
Music from the Motion Picture Evita (1997 US; 1996 abroad)
Ray Of Light (1998)
Ricky Martin (duet) (1999)
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (contributed 1 track) (1999)
The Next Best Thing Soundtrack (contributed 2 tracks) (2000)
Production (Mirwais’ album, contributed 1 track) (2000)
Music (2000)
GHV2: Greatest Hits Volume 2 (2001)
American Life (2003)
Remixed & Revisited EP (2003)
Confessions On A Dance Floor (2005)

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